We are not good at listening.
- Updated: December 17, 2021
We are slowly and surely losing our ability to listen.
We may spend a large part of our communication time listening, but we are retaining extraordinarily little of what we hear.
Listening is a mental process where we extract meaning from sound.
We recognize patterns to distinguish noise from signal. For example, when somebody is calling your name, that is a signal.
We also listen to differences by discounting sounds that remain the same.
Sound also gives us a sense of reality as this process tells us what we are paying attention to right now.
Sound also places us in space and in time. Even if you close your eyes, you will be aware if someone is in the room you are in. You will also know many people are in the room with you. And you have a sense of where you are. This is due to the noise you are hearing.
Why are we losing our listening?
We are recording stuff. We record stuff by writing, audio, and video.
We find the need for accurate and careful listening less important.
The world is so noisy now. So much so we take it for granted and get used to it. People use headphones to get away from noise by creating their own noise bubble.
As a result, nobody is listening to anybody.
We are becoming impatient and want sound bites like music. The mass media must shout out loud with all types of catchy headlines to get our attention as we become insensitive.
Personal broadcasting is slowly and surely replacing conversation.
We find it harder to pay attention to the quiet, calm and the unpretentious.
We are losing our listening.
This is not a good situation to be in as we understand by listening.
We need to consciously listen to understand. These things only happen without conscious listening.
4 ways to improve the quality of your listening.
1. Spend a minute or two in silence.
Try spending a minute or two a day in silence. Be completely silent in that moment.
If you cannot get silence, then go for quiet.
2. Listen to each distinct sound.
If you step out of the house, close your eyes, and consciously listen to the birds, insects, or the cars.
If you are in a noisy environment like in food court or wet market, tune in and try to find out the who or what are making those sound.
3. Enjoying mundane sounds.
Pay attention to mundane sounds and enjoy them.
Listen and savour the sounds of the boiling water, the humming of the ceiling fan and the swooshing and clicking of a washing machine.
If you are going for a walk outdoors, listen and savour the sound of the wind in the trees rustling the leaves or the sounds made by birds chirping and twittering or in flight.
4. Go for active listening.
Instead of passive listening like watching TV or listening to music, be active when in a conversation with another person.
Be engaged in your conversation and you will have emotional connection with that person.
Pay attention to that person and acknowledge to show that you are listening.
Listening is a skill. It takes skill to be able to consciously listen all the time.
We connect to the physical world around us and understand each other.
We become spiritually connected as well as we listen and contemplate.
Concluding thoughts.
Every human being needs to listen consciously to live a full life.
Learn how to listen. The world will be a better place for it. There will be connection, understanding and peace.