Attract Joy And Happiness In Your Life.
How To Let Go Series – Part 1
- Updated: December 10, 2020
Have you come at a stage where you realise that you need to let go but struggle with it?
It is because doing so means you must finally face reality. You will have to let go of the idea in your head about how your life is supposed to be.
Sometimes life does not give you what you WANT because you NEED something else.
The key is detachment.
Letting go of the life you expected, so you can make the best of the life that is waiting for you.
What then is stress?
Stress is your body’s reaction to any change that requires a physical, mental, or emotional response. Stress is a normal part of life. You can experience stress from your environment, your body, and your thoughts.
What does letting go involve?
Letting go is the act of detaching yourself from unpleasant, meaningless, or harmful thoughts and feelings. In this process, you free yourself from obsessing thoughts and unhappy feelings. This might seem difficult to do, but with some training and practice, it becomes possible.
I have identified 7 techniques below you can use to let go of stress to attract joy and happiness in your life.
1. Prepare a list of causes of your stress and their solutions.
Write about your feelings and frustrations and brainstorm for solutions.
Make a table with 2 columns on a piece of paper or on Microsoft Word or Excel or on whatever you are comfortable with. Or maybe 3 columns if you want a number in the first column.
On the 1st column list down the root causes of your stress or what is causing you grief.
On the 2nd column come up with actions to address them.
As you resolve these issues one by one, talk to yourself and remind yourself that you are removing your stress.
Refer to your list if similar thoughts start to pop up in your mind again.
Ask yourself and question the things that are bothering you.
2. Ask yourself
Worry serves no useful purpose.
Ask yourself what is bugging you.
And ask yourself whether your stress is helping you solve the problem at hand.
Just asking yourself questions may even help you let it go.
Look 10 years into the future, and then 20. Then you will realise that many of the things you are worrying about do not really matter in your life.
If the cause of the stress is either irresolvable or not critical, you can set it aside or put it away.
3. Put it away.
Write down all your stresses on a piece of paper and put it away.
You mentally transfer your stresses or stuff that is bothering you to that piece of paper.
You can also write an angry letter that you can later burn. Write to express your feelings of despair.
Put the paper away physically and the stresses away mentally.
And do not look at that piece of paper anymore. Out of sight and out of mind.
When you put it away or destroy it, you are also mentally banishing it away from your inner self.
After that, you can think of something pleasant. And do stuff that will occupy your mind by doing something you like.
4. Do something you like.
Take note of when you begin thinking about something that stresses you.
Then you can shift your thought processes to something more pleasant, like your passion or your hobby.
Replace your thoughts by:
Reading your favourite book or books. Be absorbed immersed in the world of reading a book.
Take a walk around the park. The exercise and fresh air will do you good too.
Go shopping. Window shopping only for obvious reasons.
Climb a hill. You will be too tired to think about what is troubling you.
Do some gardening. You will be surrounded by flowers, plants, and herbs. A bonus is you will be working out too.
There is a lot of other stuff you can do around the house to take your mind off stress. You can be active at the same time by doing the small stuff.
5. Do the small stuff.
Completing a small task increases your sense of control and decreases your stress level.
Clean your house.
Organise your stuff.
Clear your desk.
File your documents.
Rearrange your books if you have your own library.
Throw away stuff you do not use anymore.
You can also destress by not doing anything. You can go to a spa or go for a reflexology session or both.
6. Go to a spa.
Going to a spa or getting a foot massage can help you destress.
Going to a sauna or a steam bath for 10 to 15 minutes will remove stress. Sweat it out.
Get a foot massage. This will help you relax when the correct pressure points on your feet are dealt with in a reflexology session.
Sometimes, you may not neither need to be active nor be relaxed. Instead, you can look inwards by meditating.
7. Meditate.
Just practice “mindfulness of breathing” meditation.
Setting aside time to practice mindful breathing. You will find it easier to focus attention on your breath in your daily life. And it will help you deal with stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, and sharpens your concentration.
The ‘mindfulness of breathing’ meditation uses the breath as an object of concentration. By focusing on the breath, you become aware of the mind’s tendency to jump from one thing to another.
Before you start:
Look for potential distractions.
Do a quick list of the things in your life that could come up as distractions. Check to see if your mind is occupied by any worries about the future, regrets about the past, doubts, or other annoyances. Acknowledge these thoughts and emotions, whatever they are, and resolve to set them aside if they arise.
Adjust your posture.
Check your posture and get comfortable. Sit comfortably. Start with your eyes closed and angled slightly downward, as though you were reading a book. With your lips closed, breathe through your nose in a natural way. It should not feel controlled or forced.
The meditation has four progressive stages leading to a level of concentration. To start with five minutes per stage is a good practice.
The first stage you use counting to stay focused on the breath. After the out-breath you count one, then you breathe in and out and count two, and so on up to ten, and then you start again at one.
The second stage you subtly shift where you breathe, counting before the in-breath, anticipating the breath that is coming, but still counting from one to ten, and then starting again at one.
The third stage you drop the counting and just watch the breath as it comes in and goes out.
The final stage the focus of concentration narrows and sharpens, so you pay attention to the subtle sensation on the tip of the nose where the breath first enters and last leaves the body.
Afterthoughts
You are not giving up by letting go. You are just surrendering any obsessive attachment to particular people, outcomes, and situations.
Surrender means doing your best to be yourself in the best possible way without expecting life to go a certain way.
Have goals and dreams and hopes, and take meaningful action, but detach from what life must look like.