7 WAYS TO LET GO OF BITTERNESS

 

If we hold on to bitterness and hatred we will be imprisoned in our own mind. We lose our freedom. When you have been hurt from hurt, and you feel hopeless to overcome that hurt. Hurt can come from bullying, abuse, bullying, neglect, threats, etc. We are the ones responsible for causing ourselves any current hurt by remaining bitter about a past hurt.

 

Anger and bitterness differ in several different ways. You can look at how anger and bitterness differ in this post – 5 differences between anger and bitterness.

Anger involves outrage followed by action, as you decide how best to handle your situation.

 

Bitterness can feel worse than anger because it involves feeling helpless. Bitterness happens when you feel that you cannot do anything, and that everything is out of your control.

Although you cannot change want has happened to you, you can take action to move forward in your life and away from bitterness.

 

You may have found yourself stuck in a quagmire of bitterness from which you cannot extricate yourself from. Here are 7 ways to let go of your bitterness.

 

1. Define it.

 

You cannot heal if you do not know what is broken.

Find out the source of your bitterness. This is the first step of letting go.

Speak out loud.

Tell a friend, a family member, or a therapist how you fell.

If you cannot do this, write a letter you will never send or write in a journal diary for yourself.

The main purpose is to find out the exact cause of your bitterness.

 

2. Forgive yourself and others.

 

Accept your failures and flaws. Once you have accepted your limitations, you decrease your chances of being bitter. Forgive yourself for all the frustrations brought by your own self.

Forgive the people who made you feel rejected or treated you unfairly or badly. It is hard but do it for your own sake. Forgiveness can remove all this hatred from your heart.

Forgiveness is a great release. But only if you are ready and it is real.

This is probably the hardest but most important part of moving on from bitterness.

It is possible that you want to hold on to the bitterness for a long time. You just want to focus your anger on someone else. But the truth is you are furious at yourself, and you find hard to face it.

Find ways to reframe what happened in ways that will help you forgive can be a great release.

 

3. Stop stalking them.

 

One of the bad effects of bitterness is that it will cause you to obsess about the person they resent.

You cannot resist the urge to check their Facebook timeline or tune in on gossip or news about them. This is because you want to find something bad about them, to make yourself feel good. You want to assure yourself that you are doing better than them.

However, instead of making you feel good, this drains you of all your joy and peace of mind. You cannot move on from what they have done to you. You get stuck in a rut as you are always checking on them. Forgetting becomes hard.

 

4. Think good about those you resent.

 

You will feel worse off if you focus on the bad behaviours of the people you resent.

Ill thoughts or ill will towards others is a poison that can pollute you.

You will fill your mind with criticisms and cynicism, and premeditated opinions by seeing the negative side of people.

Filter your thoughts by rejecting any negative thought against the people you resent. Instead, always look for the good in people and see them in this light.

 

5. Take responsibility.

 

Take responsibility and regain power over it.

If you always hold yourself as a victim, you will be helpless.

If you can see how you have put yourself in this situation, then you regain power over it.

Even so, not all situations contain personal responsibility. For example, the illness or death of a loved one or a dear friend for whatever reasons. In those situations, you are not likely to have a part in those happenings.

But then, many people who are bitter know they had a part in what took place but are not willing to admit to it.

Please remember that the purpose of acknowledging your responsibility in what transpired is not to blame yourself, which is counterproductive. It is to reclaim your personal power.

 

6. Try your best to stop talking bad about these people and what they did to you.

 

It is a normal reaction to look for people you can lean on when you have been hurt. You look for and talk to people who have the same experience with, or feelings about, the people you feel bad about.

You just want assurance that there is nothing wrong with your feelings. And to reassure yourself that it is not your fault. But then, you are leading yourself to slanders and gossips. Effectively stooping down to the level of the people you dislike and will soon be like them. You will then not be able to move forward.

So, stop talking about your bitterness with other people. Once or twice is fine for you to let off steam. Going around and telling the whole world about your grudges to get sympathy would just make your bitterness worse.

 

7. Focus on improving yourself.

 

The more you focus on wanting to see the people you hate go down, the more you get into a quagmire. You get distracted from improving yourself when you focus attention on them.

Just forget about the people who hurt you.

Improve yourself to prove these people wrong in their perception about you.

Set goals for yourself and concentrate on achieving them. Your bitterness will slowly fade away.

When you have achieved the goals you have set, you will realise that you have already moved on.

What happened in the past will then be just an event in the past. And not more than that.

 

Afterthoughts

 

It is tough to move on from bitterness.

You do not deserve to be treated unfairly. However, thinking about revenge or competing against the people who hurt you will not make you better than them.

Forgive and let go of your bitterness. You will then be well and happy.