8 LITTLE THINGS THAT CAN TELL YOU A LOT ABOUT SOMEONE

 

It is great if you can assess a person’s character and personality with reasonable accuracy. It is not a perfect science, but it will help you find and build stronger relationships. And consequently, avoid a lot of frustration.

But please do not use these to condemn nor to judge people. Everyone has bad days, and our personalities can change in a second.

And we should look at our own character before assessing or evaluating others.

These seemingly insignificant behaviours or habits can also provide meaningful insights into your own emotions and personality. Plus, the way you approach life in general.

Additionally, keep in mind that each thing on its own may only reveal little. But they reveal a lot more when combined.

After that, you will have to decide whether you want to be friends or clients with them. Or have any further dealings with them.

 

1. How they keep their commitments.

 

We make a lot of commitments in life. They are not necessarily big ones.

 

They may be as simple as:

• I will let you know about the meeting by Friday.
• I will meet you for lunch at 12.00 pm.
• I will be at the meeting at 3.00 pm.
• I will get back to you tomorrow.
• I will be there in 5 minutes.
• I will call you at 6.00 pm.

 

Yet some people do not always keep them.

It is important to be flexible as there may be things which are not within our control.

Take note of a pattern where someone fails to follow through with any of their commitments. Or constantly changes them.

It can reveal someone who is not reliable, or who does not hold themselves accountable for the things they say. Or maybe not value you that much.

This is not just only a matter of doing what they say they will do.  It is because their actions say more than words ever will.

 

2. How they treat people deemed to be “below” them.

 

We can look at how people treat those who can do absolutely nothing to them.

Strangers on the street. People selling stuff on the sidewalk. Janitors. People “below” their position at work.

How does someone treat those people or talk about them? It can tell you a lot.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to see how people treat service staff at restaurants, cafes, etc.

However, waiters can do something to you if you are a jerk!

So be nice, folks.

I remembered having a colleague who would shout or scold our junior staff.

Every single time!

And he automatically switches to the nice guy mode when talking when talking to me or other senior colleagues. From an ill-tempered and mean person to someone genuinely nice and helpful in one second. And vice versa.

Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde throughout the day.

 

3. How their car looks on the inside.

 

Go to the parking lot and see inside their car.

Ask for a lift or ride.

Do not be fazed by the kind of car they are driving or how posh it is.

 

Look inside the car and see if it is clean, organised, and tidy.

Or if you can see stuff like these in the car.

• Food wrappers and empty soft drink cans or bottles.
• Bits of snack food everywhere.
• Bits of paper, like advertisements, junk mail etc.
• Several pairs of shoes.
• Mud and dirt.
• Old Parking coupons and all types of receipts.
• Used tissues.
• Files, documents, and other work-related stuff which have turned yellow.

 

It might tell you quite a bit about a person, their identity, behaviours, and how they think and feel.

How you do one thing is how you do everything.

 

4. How they act when they make a mistake.

 

Everyone makes mistakes.

 

Please observe their response when you address a mistake in a respectful and fair way.

• Do they apologize?
• Do they commit to avoiding it?
• Do they suddenly get afflicted with excusivitis?
• Do they get defensive?
• Do they just keep quiet and not say a single word?
• Do they blame you?
• Do they accuse you of blowing up the issue?
• Do they list your past transgressions (real or imagined) which are not related to this mistake?

 

It is not how a person acts when things go well. It is how the person acts when things are not going well.

There will always be some conflict and disagreements in any relationship. How they respond at times like this will reveal a lot about their character and personality.

Maybe it is time to let the friend go.

 

5. How they act when you make a mistake.

 

On the other hand, let us say you make an honest mistake. You then apologize,

 

Please observe their response.

• Do they respect you and share how they feel?
• Do they take it in stride?
• Do they get personal and say, “You always ____” or “You never _____?”
• Do they deride you?
• Do they harbour a resentment towards you?
• Do they insult your character or intelligence or just anything about you?
• Do they remind you of this mistake every time after this?

 

Just observe and do not judge them.

They are not necessarily dreadful people. It could be due to their past unpleasant or unhappy experiences.

But it reveals their hidden or suppressed character or personality. And this will show you how they will react then things are not going well.

 

6. How they act with people they want something from.

 

Have you ever come across people who appear to have split personality?

I came across people who always ignored me to the extent of avoiding eye contact several times in the past. And they will suddenly be nice and friendly and rosy when they want my help. Once they get what they need or want, they are back to their old selves.

People behave in this way as they do not have a recognised sense of self.

They change who they are completely depending on who they talk to. And they only put on their “A-Game” when they are around a someone they like, admire, or want something from.

You can see for yourself.

See if they put on a special show around certain people. Whether they ingratiate themselves to people above them while paying no attention to people below or even around them.

Take note.

 

7. How often they check their phone.

 

Phone addiction is a real issue. It indicates several things about someone.

Checking their emails for work while talking to you could indicate that they are married to their job.

Scrolling through social media while talking to you could imply that someone is addicted to life behind their real-life persona.

All this shows that their mind is frequently elsewhere.

They are not able to fully enjoy nor living in the present.

And it is rude.

People who respect your time and are interested in what you are saying will put down their phone immediately. And give you full attention.

 

8. How their real-life compares to social media life

 

We all have met people who are obsessed with how they are portrayed on social media. All the posts, profiles, and stories were designed to show them in the best light possible.

They are most likely relatively average and ordinary people like you and me.

This is a big warning sign.

Because the person will be overly concerned with how people thought of him or her just like on social media.

The person will have made calculated relationships and actions, and always pursued validation and approval.

 

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life”. Oscar Wilde wrote this in his 1889 essay The Decay of Lying.

Try comparing how someone acts on social media versus reality.

They always need to put on a show, parade, or showcase every “amazing” detail of their day. Even though their life is ordinary.

It says a lot about how a person thinks, how they feel, and what motivates them.

 

Final thoughts

 

This information is not meant to be definitive checklist of habits nor behaviours.

 

The purpose of checking is not to judge someone.

They can provide starting points for learning more about your own and other people’s motivations.

It will help you assess someone’s personality. And find out if they align with your values, goals, and what is important to you.

 

You will build great relationships that will grow over time if you surround yourself with people who match those things important to you.

 

Happy relationship building!