7 THINGS GENUINELY SATISFIED PEOPLE DO NOT DO

It is hard to be satisfied. Everybody wants to know what they can do to be happier. We yearn for a blend of lessons, books, videos, or even health supplements that may add more happiness and wellbeing.

Do you often find yourself in the mindless pursuit of more?

More money. More stuff. More recognition. More security. Yet, still not satisfied when you have them.

At the end of the day, what are you going after?

And more importantly, do you really want or need what you are going after?

Stop chasing happiness and realise you already have it.

The outcome we desire may in fact be available to us today. Only if we allow ourselves to view the world with a new lens. A lens in which we will use to go after the things that matter most to us today. Rather than 10 or 20 years from now.

Stop chasing the world’s definition of happiness. And we will realise that the savvy to achieve happiness is right in front of us all along.

It seems to me that what often makes people dissatisfied is the collection of mental programmes running in the background in their minds.

If you can identify and change these mental habits, I think you may be a little more satisfied each day. As a result, you will become happier.

1. They do not let the outside world influence their inner world.

Be yourself.

Do not let the behaviour of others affect your inner peace.

Do not try to satisfy or please everyone around us all the time.

Parents, relatives, teachers, bosses, colleagues, friends, society. But in the process, we forget ourselves.

Some people may claim they are not easily influenced. Not necessarily true, as they may be influenced by the internet through social media or anything they watch or read online.

Some of them use leading questions to influence you. You will find it hard to say no to some of these questions.

• Do you want to be rich and wealthy? I can say no to this. Both words are very subjective.
• Do you want financial freedom? This evolved from “rich” to “financial freedom”.
• Do you want that promotion? You may have to make plenty of sacrifices to get that promotion of course.
• Do you want to be a highly respected member of society? The word “respected” is also subjective. Respected in what sense and by who?
• Do you want to get a degree from a highly ranked or prestigious university? Must define whether prestigious means spending more money or studying in a particular country.

These are just door openers to help them get into your inner world.

All of them have expectations about how you should and what you should do.

But if you follow their wishes, you will end up being who or what they want you to be. And not who or what you really are.

Happiness starts within yourself and genuinely satisfied people do not let others interfere with their priorities.

Live with the consequences of your choices and mistakes, and not those of your friends or family members.

Make your own decisions and live life according to your rules.

2. They do not spread nor push unsolicited advice.

Many people love to share their 2 cents worth on almost everything and anything. Yes, for them spreading and pushing is sharing.

They do that even if they do not have much to say.

Everyone seemed to be an expert on:

• Running a restaurant. They eat at many restaurants, so they probably know how to run one.
• Getting new clients or customers. Everyone is now a marketing expert.
• Setting up a blog or improving your social media presence. Checking their social media accounts all the time makes them an expert.
• Managing the country’s economy. They are economists.
• Losing weight. They have always been thin and must be doing something right.
• Vaccines, viruses, and diseases. They are virologists and epidemiologists.
• Cancer. Oncologist in the making.
• Teaching and learning. Never taught before but can advise on teaching.
• Books and reading. Only read one book and talk all the time about that one book.
• The political situation of the day. Heck, everyone is a political commentator nowadays.
• The educational system and your children’s education. What is right for them must be right for me.
• Conspiracy theories. They probably watch too many movies and TV series.
• Your personal finance. What to invest in. What not to invest in.
• Your personal beliefs. Trying to convince me to have the same beliefs as them.

Or you can just happen to mention something you are currently interested in. They will take this as a “welcome, come in” sign. The floodgates are open to them to swarm in and flood you with their advice, opinions, information, news, etc. etc. They will just say they are sharing of course. And they honestly believe they are helping you. They then get upset if you have a differing opinion.

And most of the time, it is a case of “Do as I say, and not as I do”.

Generally, people do know that opinions are biased, subjective, conditioned, and probably not valuable. Yet, people often feel the need to share it. And just cannot say, “I do not know”.

Staying silent is better than spreading the wrong information or sharing your unsolicited opinion.

A person will not have this urge to constantly share his or her opinion and give unsolicited advice if he or she is genuinely happy and satisfied.

Alternatively, that person can just openly say that he or she does not know everything.

Getting support and receiving meaningful advice is great if you ask for it. Yet, people who share their two cents without being asked are annoying. And not helpful.

3. They do not blame other people or other external factors for their own failures.

Deeply satisfied people are aware that failures and setbacks happen in life. And that they are important to them as lessons to learn from.

They grow because of them. No self-punishments nor guilt trips when mistakes happen. They will just learn from them and move on.

We sometimes spend and waste a lot of time being upset because of a mistake or a failure in the past.

A lot of “I should have done this” or “If I had tried harder” or “I am a failure”.

We should acknowledge the failures as learning opportunities to live a genuinely satisfying life.

Failures are important.

We learn and grow because of failure.

Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.

You make progress when you try your best.

You do not learn when everything you is do is focused on avoiding mistakes.

Making progress is about trying your best, not about avoiding mistakes.

If you make great decisions, ask for help, and give your best shot, you will eventually reach your desired destination.

You will lose time, energy, and the passion to make things happen by continuously judging yourself for past failures. And what constitutes a failure is also subjective.

Make insightful and well thought out decisions and then give your best. You will get what you want.

4. They do not ignore the small things in life that gives you pleasure.

Get more time and space to appreciate the small things in life by ignoring this nonsensical stuff happening around you.

• Staying up to date on everything happening in your country.
• Staying up to date on everything happening in the rest of the world.
• Checking your social media feeds 24/7 multiplied by 365.
• Getting overly excited or agitated over every new stuff going viral on your social media networks.
• Dosing up on conspiracy theories.

If you are genuinely satisfied, it is easier to ignore the nonsense happening around you. This stuff is just noise distracting you.

You end up wasting your time and energy either being fascinated or be frustrated about other people’s behaviour and actions.

Ignoring all this background noise will give you more time and space to appreciate the small things in life.

You will have ample time to do the small things that give you pleasure in life. These are the things that make life worth living.

• Enjoying a cup of tea or coffee.
• Reading more books to inspire you or to set your imagination alight.
• Have a nice lunch or dinner session with great company.
• Going for a walk in the park.

Instead, we find ourselves chasing materialistic goals to get more money or more stuff. We then get frustrated when we find out we are not happy nor fulfilled after we eventually get them.

It could be a higher income, higher salary, more luxurious car, house, or any material goods.

If you want to be genuinely satisfied, allow yourself to enjoy more of the small pleasures in your daily life.

Acknowledge the good that you already have in your life. You will realise that what you have is in abundance.

Happy people tend to be more grateful than others. They are thankful for all the small things and moments in life, and not for their material stuff they have acquired.

Think of all the things in your life that make you happy.

Ask yourself how you could add more of them into your daily life.

Happiness is not just an outcome only.

Your mind and body should hold on your happy moments.

A good life is a collection of happy moments.

5. They do not put others down.

Ever come across people who conveys, sends, or shares any of these?

• Put downs.
• Hateful messages.
• Negative comments.
• Insults.
• Offensive remarks.
• Baseless criticisms.

Quite sure it is a person dissatisfied with their own reality.

There is such a thing as constructive feedback or criticism and a difference of opinion. But putting others down reflects their own insecurities and ineptitude.

Genuinely satisfied people do not feel the desire to offend, insult, or hurt other people.

They focus on their own lives and try to be supportive instead of destructive.

They attempt to lift others up instead of looking down on them.

Happiness, just like misery, is infectious and finds company.

If you feel good, those around you will feel better too.

If you spread negativity and hate, you will feel the same way yourself.

6. They do not interrupt conversations.

I was engaged in a lively conversation with someone I had just met in a networking event. We were getting to the interesting parts of our conversation when suddenly somebody else barged in. He was introducing himself with enthusiasm and suddenly changing and then leading our conversation. I was shocked speechless at this apparent lack of respect for us and his poor manners. Probably after seeing our expressionless and disinterested faces, he left after 30 seconds. We would have welcomed him if he had asked permission to join our conversation.

I have experienced interruptions like this at networking events, conferences, meetings, and dinners.

Someone who is constantly interrupting a conversation feel the urge to be present and heard.

Genuinely satisfied people, however, can remain silent and listen to others’ voices without feeling agitated.

Nor can they be moved to talk and interrupt.

Although you may feel that speaking and sharing your ideas is more fun (to you), other people do not feel the same. You may argue that you are contributing to the conversation by sharing your views and experience.  The reality is that your ability to remain silent says a lot about it.

Nobody likes being around someone who is constantly talking about himself or his topic of interest. Yet, that is what most vociferous people do all the time without realizing that they are annoying their conversation partners.

it is easy for you to be silent if you are genuinely satisfied with what you have done. And how you are living your life now. Take a back seat and relax and let others share their stories and thoughts.

You just need to ask yourself whether you want to be right or happy. And if you choose happiness, you might want to stay quiet instead of sharing your two cents on any topic.

In the end, genuine satisfaction is a state of mind and it is not related to your behaviour in the outside world.

7. They remember to rest and relax.

If you always feel tired, how can you be genuinely satisfied?

Most people, both young and old feel fatigued most of the time.

Many employees also feel tired at work for most of the week. People do not get enough rest and sleep nowadays.

And when we are not well rested, we tend to experience higher stress levels. Even people who are retired can feel stress if they are not well rested.

Rest is important. It is something you must do. And it is not something optional as we all live hectic lives.

Without rest we cannot rejuvenate and heal. We cannot be our best to ourselves nor to anyone else without rejuvenation and healing.

Being fit, healthy, and well-rested adds quality to your life and helps you stay positive and focused during challenging situations.

A well-rested mind also helps us process our emotions and communicate more effectively with our fellows.

Remember to take at least one day a week where you rest, relax, and do something you enjoy.

Your life and your health will be much better even if you accomplish less.

Final Thoughts

Getting rid of destructive patterns can improve your life at least as much as adding new ones.

You might be able to add some happiness to your daily life by avoiding these habits.

1. Do not let the outside world influence your inner world.

2. Do not Spread nor push Unsolicited Advice.

3. Do not always blame other people or other external factors for their own failures.

4. Do not ignore the small things in life that gives you pleasure.

5. Do not put others down.

6. Do not interrupt conversations.

7. Remember to rest.

Happiness is not a race.

It is a life-long journey of becoming your most satisfied self.

Genuine satisfaction is not a reaction but a constant state of appreciation, even when life gets tough.