Trust in your abilities to boost self-confidence
- Updated: November 27, 2020
You are afraid. Scared. You break out in a cold sweat. Thoughts run through your mind.
What if I cannot get that job?
I feel awkward.
What if that that guy/girl does not like me?
I am afraid to ask.
What will they think of me?
I do not think I can do it.
What do I say?
You need a self-confidence boost. But how do you build self-confidence when you feel inexperienced or lacking in qualifications or whatever your self tells you?
Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is important to your health and psychological well-being.
Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you achieve success in your personal and professional life.
Confidence is one of the biggest factors that differentiate successful people who get what they want and unsuccessful people who do not.
There are 12 strategies you can integrate into your thinking mode to gain confidence:
1. Be happy with who you are
If you want to have confidence, you must be happy with who you are.
Confident people derive happiness and satisfaction from their own achievements, as opposed to what other people think of their achievements.
You are never as good or as bad as people say you are.
Happiness comes from within.
2. Think good of other people
Do not judge other people. You can stop passing judgement on other people or on what they do. It is their problem, not yours.
If you think bad of other people, you will feel bad.
When you start to think bad of somebody you dislike, think of the positive things about that person. Ask yourself why you feel that way.
Generate loving kindness towards that person.
When you feel good, you feel confident.
3. Do not seek attention
Do not bother to get approval or acceptance of others.
Why are you care that people you know do not bother to like your social media posts?
Why are you concerned that you have few likes on your social media posts?
People are turned off by those who are desperate for attention.
Being yourself is more effective than trying to prove you are important.
People are more attracted to the right kind of attitude than what, or how many, people you know.
Confident people always seem to bring the right attitude.
What if you get attention for an achievement? Remember to quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get you there.
Do not crave approval or praise. Self-worth comes from within.
4. Do not afraid to be wrong
Fear of making mistakes has been ingrained since we are small. More so in Asian cultures.
You should put your ideas or views forward or do the things you want to do. You learn from the times when you are wrong, and other people learn from you when you are right.
Do not treat being wrong as a personal slight.
It is alright to be wrong.
5. Speak confidently.
When you start talking, just finish what you wanted to say.
Use complete phrases or sentences. Do not leave the conversation hanging.
If people ask you to more about what you just said, do elaborate.
Leave out “Ah”, “Um,” “I’m not sure”, “I think”, “I hope so”, “Maybe”.
Speak assertively and clearly.
Finish what you speak.
6. Just do it.
Just do it.
Take it.
Do not overthink.
When you have an opportunity, just take it. Do not worry incessantly about what could go wrong. Just ask yourself, “What is holding me back?”, “Why can’t I do that?” and go for it.
If you do not do it, you will never know whether you can succeed.
Do not procrastinate.
7. Celebrate small successes
Give yourself a pat on the back whenever you make any achievement, even small ones.
If you did your first sales closing, congratulate yourself.
If you landed your first job, congratulate yourself.
You can celebrate in any way you want, to acknowledge your victory.
Confident people challenge themselves and celebrate small victories.
Small victories increase confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. You will get a boost in your confidence when you have a series of small victories.
Celebrate.
8. Think of your past successes
Sometimes you will suffer an attack from your own self. There is an inner voice within you that will tell you why you will never succeed.
It is super helpful if you have prepared a list of pass successes. This with be your counter arguments against your own negative talk. Listing your past successes can stop your own self-critic in its tracks.
“You are not qualified to apply for that job. Do not waste your time applying for it!”
“That’s not true. I did A, B and C in my last position. I managed to complete D and E successfully. I could do the same and more for this company. They will be delighted to have me!”
Be prepared when you are about to shoot yourself in the foot.
Think of what you have done well in the past.
9. Be happy for other people
People who lack confidence doubt their own ability and try to steal the spotlight to prove their worth.
Confident people, on the other hand, are not worried about their ability because they draw their self-worth from within.
Do not focus inward. Focus outward.
You can see all the wonderful things that other people can bring to you.
Praise people for their contributions.
10. Say no
Learn to say no.
Family members, friends, colleagues or just about anybody may ask you for help or to do something for them. If you cannot do something or are not comfortable with doing it, just say no. Do not compel yourself to do it out of obligation or face or fear of rejection.
The more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression.
Saying no is healthy. Please make the noes clear.
Avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain” which do not sound confident.
Saying no to a new commitment honours your existing commitments and helps you immensely in fulfilling them.
Just say no.
11. Listen more
Listen more than you speak.
You are likely to learn and grow by actively listening and paying attention to others.
Focus on the interaction itself, and you will find it an enjoyable and productive approach to people.
Confident people are more interested in knowing other people opinions and thoughts to learn more. When it is their turn, they express their opinion more comfortably and boldly.
They can let others be right or wrong without jumping in.
Listen attentively.
12. Change your routine
Do some simple exercises if you are not doing any.
Even something as simple as walking for at least 30 minutes 3 times a week will help you immensely.
You will feel much better. Exercises release endorphins.
The immediate positivity from exercise will make a difference in boosting your confidence.
Go to sleep early. Get enough sleep. Sleep earlier and get up earlier.
You will mess up your body rhythm if you sleep at odd or unusual hours.
Those who go to bed extremely late are more likely to be overwhelmed with repetitive negative thoughts.
Change your lifestyle.
Final thoughts
Building confidence is a journey, not a destination.
You are good to go.
Nothing can stop you.
The whole world is waiting for you.
